Impossible Amounts of Love in One Year

It was a year ago today that our lives were turned upside down.  We suddenly saw ourselves differently, our life was different, and our future was different. If I could go back in time I would tell the woman doing the ultrasound to use kind words.  I would tell her that this was a human child she was looking at, not "a very big problem."  If I could go back to that morning before my appointment, I would take a few moments to appreciate-really appreciate- everything that we had and how we felt on top of the world and mostly in control of things.  I would hug Harper and tell her to be brave, she is loved, and soon, her best friend would be born.  But really, I just wish that on that day we hadn't felt so alone. I wish that woman would have said, "you have a one in three chance of this baby having Down syndrome, and either way, you're going to be ok."

Today, I look at Audrey and feel a deep, swelling love in my heart for her.  We have had many trials, much struggle, the most excruciating waits of our lives, and have had to work through ugly emotions associated with it all. Audrey is who she is for good reason. If she was only her smile, then she would have successfully brought joy to many.  If she was only a positive story of pediatric open heart surgery, then she has already encouraged.  If she was only a voice, then we have had the privilege to listen to her tiny, tender melody of a voice.

There is so much love for this child who is very different than the one we had planned for.  We have been escorted to a new world that we never realized was there, right in front of us, this entire time.  We have the chance to love, accept, fight for, and rejoice in 

the beautiful little lives of our dear Audrey and her favorite friend Harper.

Aunt Diana meets her niece, and Audrey exhibits her toe touching skills.