Thinking about what I might say around the Thanksgiving dinner table when it's my turn to tell what I'm thankful for, I smile and look at my life, every part of it, and how I've experienced deep gratitude in the last year and a half. Being so very thankful for everything I had before July 2013, it's as if now there's a chasm between pre-fateful day and post-fateful day. Everything changed. Gradually I realize that there is something big at work here in me, in my family. And now when I put words down to describe what it all has felt like, I pause because I only want to say something about it if the words deeply resonate. And I'm not going ton say I'm thankful for the struggle, because I'm actually not, I'm only thankful for the beauty that was revealed as a result.
So here's my easy list of thankful things: I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my life, having what I need, having a house, having enough food to eat, being healthy, being loved, and being near God on a daily basis.
Here's my other list:
I'm thankful for…
*the incredibly deep reserves of courage that I didn't know existed within me
*the pride I feel for my daughters
*a loving, affectionate, resilient Harper
*friends who babysit for free
*meals brought by others
*Audrey's little voice
*insurance that makes the load almost weightless (almost)
*newfound slowing down in life, stopping to see and love
*Ottawa & Hope
*community who cries with us
*community who cheers for us
*community that has walked with us through the darkest dark
*friends who aren't afraid to embrace special children
*family who never hesitated to love Audrey
*families who adopt children with profound needs
*the voice of God during deep struggle, profound disappointment, and intense hope
*the wild love between Harper and Audrey
*Harper and Audrey's future as sisters
*my constant companion who has stood next to me, holding my hand while we watched the storm approach, rage over us, and move past. Ever steady, putting one damn foot in front of the other every single day since that fateful July day.
*feeling like God's promise on that Fateful Day, is beginning to be fulfilled…
"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'the Lord has done great things for them. The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.'"
"Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy."
Fortunes Restored.
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